Trump and Teaching

At first glance this two-part Facebook post (8/23 and 8/24/18) may appear to be a harmless little anecdote about a misbehaving student I had as a teacher, but it's also a political statement if you follow the intended parallel between miscreant student and duplicitous president . . . .

All this craziness with Trump reminds me of a day in the classroom. 

I had a kid who excelled at sneaking out of his seat to go join other kids whenever he could.  He would spot 3-4 kids together and off he would go.  They might be at the classroom library, a learning center, drinking fountain, or the pencil sharpener waiting in line.  Wherever they were, he felt an overwhelming urge to go join them. 

The kids in the small group would be standing or working quietly together before he got there but within a minute after his arrival, voices started rising and quarrels would break out.  To this day I’m not sure what he said or how he caused so much friction so quickly but he was a phenomenal instigator! 

He was quite clever and crafty, I’ll give him that much, because he also kept an eye on me and tracked my every movement.  As soon as he discerned my intention was to walk over to his desk and have a few words with him, he took off like a rocket.  He would get there first, slide into his seat, glance up and say with an innocent look on his face “I’m not out of my seat!” even before I had a chance to say anything. 

That left me kind of stunned.  I’d walk away mulling it over.  The kid must have been traumatized in the younger grades something awful . . . or he’d been one heck of a mischief-maker.  Even though I was keeping track of his multiple infractions, he seemed to believe I had nothing on him so long as he got back in his seat before I got there! 

Well, I’ve been around the block a few times so I got to setting up the trap.  I’d walk over to another student a couple rows away and return a paper . . . and he’d go to full alert if he was away from his desk; he’d head back and slide in anticipating my intention to trick him.  

I stayed patient.  I’d talk to other students about their schoolwork before returning to the front of the room.  I’d lean over and get absorbed in the one-on-one and act like I was oblivious to the rest of the class. 

He got used to my new routine and eventually grew over-confident; he was at the pencil sharpener causing his usual mischief when I saw my chance.  While he still had a habit of keeping one eye on me, he had let down his guard for a just a second which was all the time I needed.  I moved swiftly, beat him to his desk and slid into his seat a split second before he got there! 

I left him standing there next to me for a few seconds so the gravity of the situation could weigh on him.  He only had mastered a one-line excuse and I had just taken that away from him.  Finally I looked up sweetly and asked him:  “I suppose you’re going to tell me you’re not out of your seat?” 

Boys that age don’t blush but they do blanch on occasion; the blood drains from the cheeks and they turn several pale shades lighter.  He had nothing to say . . . but I did!

I had him come in at lunch time so we could talk.  I went over carefully the events of the morning.  He had gotten out of his seat on four separate occasions, joined four different groups, and in each instance a previously quiet group started arguing as noisily as a bunch of angry bees. 

I then carefully named each group, where they were, and what they were doing.  I named each student in each group, including him.  I described how quietly they had been behaving before something or someone caused them to start quarreling among themselves. 

Then I asked him if he noticed anything unusual about the pattern?  Our eyes met and I think he knew where I was going with this but he remained quiet.  I told him, “There was only one student common to all four groups.  Do you know who that student was?”  Our eyes briefly met again. 

“That student was you, wasn’t it?”  He nodded his head. 

“Now if you were me, as the teacher, what would you make of this pattern?  Four groups, four activities, all working quietly until the same student joined them and then suddenly there was a ruckus—and that student was you each time.  Do you see where I’m going with this?”

By that time he had nothing left to say, no more excuses.  He broke himself of his bad habit, turned over a new leaf and we started a new teacher-student relationship.  He still tracked me with his eyes but now he was listening, not plotting. 

I think there were a few times I saw a wistful look in his eyes for the good old days, like he hoped I would grow absent-minded so he could go back to visiting classmates but he remained true to his word and never did any backsliding; he went straight from that day forward and he was a pleasure to have in the classroom.      

What does this anecdote have to do with Donald Trump?  Well, the pattern seems eerily similar when it comes to a miscreant acting up:

It’s Trump and Michael Cohen;

It’s Trump and Paul Manafort;

It’s Trump and Stormy Daniels;

Now it’s Trump and David Pecker. 

See the pattern? 

Just like that schoolboy from long ago, the pattern tells the story as to who the chief instigator is.  In each instance, there’s only one name that’s always present!